


Not okay with any of it

by orphan_account



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 20:56:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6823789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	Not okay with any of it

     Josh rang the doorbell nervously. He knew Tyler was in there, because he could see his shadow through the window. There was no answer. Not that Josh expected one. He didn't deserve it. After what Josh had done, he didn't deserve a second chance.

     Josh didn't know why he had done it. Maybe he was jealous, of Tyler's words, of the fact that he was able to keep himself together with just his words. Josh still shouldn't have told Tyler those things, the things that Tyler worked his whole life not to think about, that he was broken, that he wasn't worth anything. Josh hated himself for saying anything like that, that he would ever, even in anger, say anything that harmful and cruel.

     Josh decided that instead of showing up at Tyler's house, he would call. He picked up the phone, but had no idea what to say. Should he say hello, say any type of pleasantry at all? He decided to just say it like it was. His voice cracked when he started.

     "Tyler? I just wanted to say sorry. What I said was horrible and awful, and I didn't mean it anyway. I'm really, really sorry." Tyler would know who it was. Josh hit send before he thought about it any more.

    Tyler showed up at Josh's house a few days later. He was standing uncomfortably in front of the door. He started when he saw Josh.

     "Um, Josh, I really appreciate the apology and everything, but um, I sort of want some time away from you."Josh nodded and tried to look like everything was okay, but how could everything be okay, because Tyler hated him, because he was a terrible person. He felt breaking somewhere inside of him, some unfix-able necessary place, storms crashing down and beating down everything in their path. He felt a sudden urge to curl up and hide, but instead he said,  
     

    "Okay, that sounds good." Tyler nodded and turned to leave. Josh wanted to call after him and make him stay, but he stayed silent and watched Tyler's retreating back.

     Josh was not okay.  
     With any of it.  
     With not being around Tyler.  
     With knowing that he had hurt Tyler.  
     With knowing how awful a human being he was.  
     It was unforgivable. 


End file.
